cinema’s best ‘Christmas adjacent’ films (yes, including Die Hard)

Christmas films appear in many guises. There is the witty (Christmas in Connecticut, Scrooged). The comedic (It Happened on 5th Avenue, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation). The wonderfully sentimental (The Shop Around the Corner, Miracle on 34th Street).

There are the canonical ones everyone’s seen at least once (It’s a Wonderful Life, The Muppet Christmas Carol) and whacky masterpieces (A Christmas Story, the Hulk Hogan-starring Santa with Muscles). Not to mention all the Hallmark Christmas films and, now, all those made for streaming (usually of the “so bad it’s good” variety).

But about those who are sick of all the tinsel and baubles? What can they watch to kibosh the kitsch while still feeling part of Christmas?

They need the Christmas-adjacent film: films set during Christmas, that aren’t really about Christmas.

For those who like action

If you feel like watching an action thriller, the obvious is Die Hard (1988), even though Christmas is so deeply integrated into the structure and story of the film it’s hard to argue it isn’t a Christmas film.

Richard Donner’s masterpiece Lethal Weapon (1987) opens with a dazzling sequence in which Jingle Bell Rock accompanies a helicopter shot over Los Angeles before a young woman jumps from a building in a drug-induced stupor. Our introduction to Martin Riggs, Mel Gibson’s quintessential mad dog detective, takes place during a drug deal in a Christmas tree lot.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) – like Lethal Weapon, written by Shane Black – is set during Christmas and ends in a dazzling explosive sequence at Niagara Falls on New Year’s Eve. The holiday underpins the narrative of amnesiac Martha Stewart-like suburban mum Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) as her past comes back to haunt her. She realises she’s actually an assassin who worked for the CIA, and now must protect her family.

For fans of grimmer action fare, Christmas decorations abound in the background of George P. Cosmatos’ Cobra (1986). Eccentric lone wolf Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone) almost single-handedly battles a gang of axe-wielding serial killers, while protecting witness/model Ingrid Knudsen (Brigitte Nielsen).

I can guarantee Penguin biting off someone’s nose doesn’t happen in any Christmas film other than Tim Burton’s Batman Returns (1992). This is the best of the two Burton Batmans – maybe the best Batman film, period – in its bleak, nihilistic combination of grotesque humour and violence.

For something darker

Paul Verhoeven’s brilliant psycho-drama Elle (2016) stars Isabelle Huppert in the role of her career as a sexual assault victim who turns the screw on her assailant. Much of the film takes place over Christmas.

In Thomas Vinterberg’s Danish stunner The Hunt (2012), kindergarten teacher Lucas (Mads Mikkelsen) is hounded by his small community when he is accused of abuse by five-year-old Klara (Annika Wedderkopp). Though the film takes place across a year, many of its key dramatic moments occur around Christmas, including an intense confrontation in a church on Christmas Eve.

Note the creepy effects of Christmas lights around some of the scenes in Stanley Kubrick’s monumental Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – although orgies are not usual features in Christmas films.

For something lighter

Key moments in John Landis’ irreverent Trading Places (1983) occur over Christmas. It’s hard to forget the image of Dan Aykroyd in a filthy Santa suit hiding food in his beard.

In Ted Demme’s smarmy but stylish The Ref (1994), a burglar finds himself virtual marriage counsellor to a savagely bickering husband and wife (brilliantly played by Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey) when he takes them hostage on Christmas Eve.

In a similar vein, Harold Ramis’ black crime comedy The Ice Harvest (2005), though uneven, has some memorable moments, as mob lawyer Charlie Arglist (John Cusack) steals money from his boss on Christmas Eve.

For some horror

There are too many amazing Christmas horror films to mention (including some solid Australian ones like 2016’s Better Watch Out), but the following serve as a good introduction to this much-maligned subgenre.

Bob Clark – the Canadian auteur behind the crowd-pleaser A Christmas Story (1983) – made the Christmas horror masterpiece in the much-imitated (and twice remade) but never-bettered Black Christmas (1974).

The story is not particularly original (though you’ll never forget the ending). Set across a day or so in a sorority house, we follow various characters as they receive obscene phone calls and are then knocked off one by one. But the set-pieces are so brilliantly handled – unnerving, beautifully composed, and savage without an overemphasis on gore – and the sound design and score by Carl Zittrer so striking, with a cloud of sublime weirdness permeating the whole thing, it should make lists of top films of all time.

The other stand-out Christmas horror film was one of the controversial ones of the 1980s; “Banned in Queensland” was plastered like a banner of pride across the VHS cover. Yet Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984), in which an axe-wielding Santa terrorises a community, is surprisingly tender in its study of the effects of trauma on children.

It is, of course, superbly hokey at the same time and pretty grisly, but anchored by a genuine warmth and touching performances.

Silent Night, Bloody Night (yes, a different film, this one from 1972) is an eerie slasher film featuring a (relatively) star-studded cast, involving a group of murders after a city lawyer inherits a small town home that used to be an insane asylum.

In Christmas Evil (1980), a rather deranged man decides to play Santa by keeping a “naughty and nice” list of the children in his neighbourhood. He delivers toys where they are unwanted and punishes people when it’s not exactly warranted. It is a hoot – a horror film that’s borderline comedy, featuring one of the best endings in the history of American film.

Is this enough Christmas-adjacent popcorn to keep even the most cynical of us stuffed until the big day itself?