‘Is this all there is?’ Retirement can be a painful transition if we don’t adjust our thinking

This article is part of The Conversation’s Retirement series where experts examine issues including how much money we need to retire, retiring with debt, the psychological impact of retiring and the benefits of getting financial advice.

The age at which Australians can receive the pension has risen to 67, meaning many of us are working longer. But the length of time we are expected to spend retired has also risen, because we are living longer.

It’s not unreasonable to expect the retirement phase will last about 20 years, perhaps longer. How should people approach it?

Are retirees satisfied?

In 2018 a colleague and I surveyed nearly 1,000 Australians aged 55 and over who described themselves as fully or substantially retired from the workforce.

Most were very satisfied (51%) or satisfied (35%) with their retirement, and the majority rated their post-retirement life satisfaction as better (47%) or the same (39%) as it had been when they were working.

What do retirees like most?

Retirees in our survey talked about freedom. Freedom to sleep in, travel, catch up with friends and family, renovate, garden, get fit, try art classes, learn Italian and if they can afford it, spend up big.

But even freedom can have a downside. One woman from the survey? said after four months she got sick of it, asking “Is this all there is?”

So what did retirees miss most? Money was a big issue for nearly 20%, and about one-third felt their financial position had worsened, even though the group had mainly worked in professional and white-collar jobs.

But the things they missed most were social – the opportunity to make new friends, to engage in new activities, and to feel useful. They said things like:

I miss the companionship of working in a team. Miss some of the social connections that I once enjoyed.

Work not only provides income and social contact, it also has the capacity to engender a sense of meaning and purpose. Some retirees commented specifically on this

I miss the sense of purpose. While it was hugely stressful, I felt useful. Now I keep feeling at a bit of a loss as if I should be doing something.

Identity loss

There’s also the issue of identity loss. Work provides us with status; it enhances our sense of self. Achievement of work goals can build confidence and self-esteem.

When we meet a new person, often the first question they ask is “what do you do for a living?” It can feel as though your work defines you as a person, rather than your many-faceted self.

Not surprisingly, our study respondents frequently commented on retirement as challenging their sense of identity.

The retirement journey

So it is important to remember retirement is not just an event, it’s a process.

In any major life transition, it’s necessary to adapt our roles and expectations. Even the most exciting life changes, such as becoming a parent or winning a lottery, involve psychological work.

We are likely to experience strong emotions, both positive and negative, as we experiment, fail, lose heart, try something else and eventually adjust to a new reality.

These adjustments might be greater for retirees who go from full-time work to full-time leisure, than for those who move gradually through part-time or casual work or who quickly take up new activities they’ve been planning for years.

Mark Cussen, a financial planner specialising in retirement, argues the retirement journey takes us through several psychological stages, including a honeymoon phase in which new retirees feel relieved as the constraints of working life are removed.

However, the initial sense of freedom loses its novelty value. Some retirees then go through a phase of disenchantment. Life can feel boring, lacking in purpose or weighed down by domestic duties and activities that do not challenge or bring joy.

The ‘best years of our lives’

The final phase is adaptation, involving a re-orientation of identity from worker to someone who finds meaning and purpose in a different set of activities.

This change usually involves renegotiating relationships with family and friends as well as experimenting with new activities, interests and friendship groups.

Over time, most retirees develop a new, non-work identity. New routines, different social worlds and re-imagined goals are established. Many describe these years as the best of their lives.

What makes a successful retirement?

Research assessing the strongest predictors of adjustment to and satisfaction with retirement is complex because there are so many potential variables to be measured and controlled.

But these are often distilled down to several key factors including physical health, finances, psychological health, leisure activities, and social integration.

Studies assessing gender difference in adjustment to retirement are equivocal, but somewhat dated. Nevertheless, many commentators agree women generally have fewer problems adapting socially.

Women tend to have stronger non-work networks, are more integrated into their communities and have a more multifaceted sense of identity than those men who define themselves largely in terms of their work.

However, the average woman is less financially prepared for retirement than a man as a result of taking time off work for children or other caring responsibilities. Women also dominate many of the lower paid jobs.

But for both sexes, studies indicate pre-retirement planning helps ensure a secure retirement.

Work out what’s important

Money isn’t everything. Lifestyle planning including post-retirement activities, new roles and interests,prioritising mental and physical health and maintaining your social contacts are also vital aspects of a workforce exit strategy.

How are you planning to stay mentally stimulated? What strategies do you have in place to manage stress and maintain good physical health? And what about friendships? Loneliness is being described as an “epidemic” among the elderly, especially those without a partner.

How will you build a new social life that may include but does not rely on former work colleagues? How will you negotiate a family life that keeps you connected without becoming a domestic slave?

A well-planned retirement

Retirement has the potential to be a wonderful phase of life in which it is possible to strengthen relationships and achieve goals that you didn’t have time for in your middle years when you were consolidating your career and home life.

It’s a time to live out some of your dreams, work through a bucket list perhaps, and have some fun as well as planning what sort of legacy you will leave for future generations.

What’s the secret? In short, plan your finances, maintain a healthy lifestyle, stay socially integrated, challenge yourself mentally, stay positive and be flexible.