With a government review underway, we have to ask why children bully other kids

The federal government has launched a “rapid review” to look at what works to prevent bullying in schools.

Led by mental health experts, the review will underpin a new national standard to respond to bullying. This follows the death of a young Sydney school student last year.

It also comes as the Queensland government rolls out a A$33 million anti-bullying plan in the state’s schools.

As schools, parents and governments look at what more can be done to prevent bullying, we have to ask why children bully other kids.

If we understand the motives, we can help these children change their behaviour – and achieve their goals or have their needs met in other ways.

Read more: What can you do if your child is being bullied?

What lies behind bullying?

Research tells us children broadly bully for social reasons. For example, a 2022 study showed children can bully to gain social status among peers – to be seen as powerful, tough or cool. Or they can bully to maintain status as part of an in-group. Perhaps another child is seen as a “threat” to that status.

Children can also bully for revenge for perceived insults. Or for entertainment – making a joke at another student’s expense.

Research shows motivations can also differ depending on the type of bullying. For example, face-to-face bullying seems to involve more children who bully for social dominance, while those who cyberbully do it more for entertainment and “fun”.

In a 2014 study, Marilyn Campbell and colleagues asked different groups about their perceptions of why young people engaged in cyber-bullying. Parents said children did it out of revenge for being bullied themselves, teachers said students did it for fun, and students thought others cyber-bullied because of peer pressure.

This highlights how complex understanding children’s motives can be.

Read more: Why do kids bully? And what can parents do about it?

Children may not bully for long

We should be careful about thinking of all students who bully as long-term “bullies”.

Most children who bully try the behaviour and stop when it does not get them what they want, just as many children who are victimised are not bullied for long.

Though of course, even being bullied for a short time can still be damaging and traumatic for the student on the receiving end.

This could suggest there is a developmental phase in bullying as most bullying occurs between children in Year 6 through to Year 10.

However, there are those students who persistently bully others and these are the students whose behaviour remains a problem despite interventions and prevention approaches.

Who is more likely to bully?

There are certain personality types who are more likely to persistently bully others. These include:

But research is mixed on the question of self-esteem. Some researchers say children who bully have high self-esteem, yet others have found they have low self-esteem.

There are many reasons why a child might develop the personality traits that would lead them to bully.

Physical abuse in childhood can play a role. There is an association between a child being exposed to domestic violence at home and then bullying their peers.

Parenting can also be a factor. For example, being overvalued but not well disciplined by parents can lead to higher traits of narcissism and a greater likelihood a child will bully.

What can we do?

Children who persistently bully may require targeted and nuanced approaches. Current approaches emphasise restoring positive relationships, rather than punishments or sanctions.

One approach is individual motivational interviewing. Here a school counsellor shows young people they can achieve their goals by other means. This encourages perpetrators to see there are more benefits in not bullying than in bullying. For example, “I want to be popular. But if I bully, I also make other kids scared of me and not want to hang around me.”

More broadly, schools can also teach explicit programs on social and emotional learning.

Read more: Schools today also teach social and emotional skills. Why is this important? And what's involved?

These programs focus on emotional intelligence and emotional literacy, enabling students to recognise and manage their emotions, understand the perspectives of others and have positive relationships with peers.

Schools which respect the diversity of students, are also better placed to address bullying. If all students have opportunities to participate in learning, it will develop their sense of belonging to their school community. This not only decreases rates of bullying but supports students who have been victimised.

If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.