why we mourn the end of our favourite TV series

Has the ending of Squid Game left you feeling downhearted? The South Korean megahit struck a nerve with audiences worldwide, with millions logging in to Netflix to follow protagonist Seong Gi-hun and fellow players in their fight for survival over three deadly seasons.

But even if you haven’t seen Squid Game, you’ve probably experienced the sense of loss that comes with the ending of much-loved series. These feelings are very normal, as finales can be deeply meaningful to viewers.

One of the most famous was the 1983 finale of M*A*S*H*, in which the Korean War ended. The flow rate in two water tunnels in New York leapt by millions of gallons right after the episode ended. Apparently about a million New Yorkers were waiting until the end to use the bathroom.

A good finale can be a sweet sendoff for viewers after years of investment. A bad one, however, can leave a bitter taste.

Why finales matter to us

We watch series for a range of reasons, including excitement, vicarious experience, emotional release and self-reflection. One of the main ways we engage with the stories is through the characters. We may admire them, empathise with them, or even see them as a part of our lives.

These parasocial relationships are similar to our real-life relationships (except they are one-sided). A show’s ending is ultimately an end to those relationships: a chance to say goodbye to our parasocial friends.

If a finale strikes a fake chord, or seems to betray the world we’ve come to love, it can make the grieving process harder. An unsatisfying finale might even sour our view of the entire series.

The need for closure

Generally, a satisfying finale will be one that offers us closure. One of the earliest examples of this came in 1967 with The Fugitive (1963–67), when 78 million American viewers watched doctor Richard Kimble finally catch his wife’s assailant.

More recent examples include The Nanny (1993–99) – where the romantic tension between Fran and Mr Sheffield is finally resolved – and Six Feet Under (2001–05), where we found out what happened to all the main characters.

Closure can also come through the death of important characters, such as in Breaking Bad (2008–13) and Game of Thrones (2011–19).

The need for narrative closure is a somewhat curious phenomenon. While we often won’t get closure in real life, such as with our own love affairs, or big life events, we still expect this to happen for our favourite characters.

For me, Mad Men (2007–15) provided the right mix. While we learn the ultimate fates of some characters, we also get the feeling others such as Peggy Olson and Pete Campbell will get up the next day and go to work. We just won’t see them do it.

Turning it on its head

Finales also offer a chance to shake things up. In Sex and the City (1998–2004), relationships hang in the balance until the very end.

Some finales may signal new beginnings, particularly through a big wedding. For exanmple, Dorothy gets married and moves away in The Golden Girls (1985–92).

In Schitt’s Creek (2015–20), some characters stay in the town, while others move away following the wedding of David and Patrick, presided over by Moira, the grande dame of the Rose family.

Read more: The power of nostalgia: why it's healthy for you to keep returning to your favourite TV series

Then there are surprising finales. Whether they aim to provide a final shock, or reflect the quagmire of ending a long-running show, these are usually the most controversial.

Newhart (1982–90) ended by using a spin on the “it was all a dream” trope, with the final scene linking the show to star Bob Newhart’s earlier sitcom.

The Sopranos (1999–2007), meanwhile, gave us one of the most talked about and divisive endings in recent memory. It is left to the viewer’s imagination to decide what happened to Tony Soprano. Some saw this as brilliant, others a cop-out.

Other finales involved big, but for some viewers, disappointing, reveals. These include the identity of the mother in How I Met Your Mother (2005–14), and the resolution of Lost (2004–10), which some fans felt was too ambiguous and complex for a final episode.

Viewers hoping for a positive or fairy-tale ending may react negatively if it doesn’t come.

Or, they might feel shortchanged if their reason for investing time in a series – such as to get to the bottom of a mystery – isn’t delivered upon by the end.

Saying goodbye, together

Grieving the end of a series is normal. We should honour what these fictional worlds provide us: joy, escapism and personal growth through self-reflection.

Connecting with our favourite characters matters for another reason, too, because these fictional bonds also help us connect with others in real life. We might grieve with other fans over the sad ending of a show, or vent with them if they also found the finale underwhelming.

Even when a series is over, relationships between fans can continue through online groups, repeat streaming and fan conventions.

With time, feelings of loss over a series’ end may make way for other feelings, such as gratitude for having experienced it at all.