how ‘performative eating’ is changing our relationship with food

Ever ordered a salad on a first date when you really wanted the burger?

Many of us eat differently when we’re around other people, often without realising it. Our food choices shift depending on who’s at the table, who’s watching, or who might see our food if it’s shared online.

This isn’t just about manners or appetite. Experts are increasingly interested in the ways in which meals aren’t just eaten, but are curated. Psychologists and nutrition researchers call this “performative eating”.

The most recent viral example of this comes from TikTok, in the form of performative matcha. These videos show young, well-dressed men roaming in public with a matcha drink in one hand and a novel in the other – ostensibly to look attractive to women.

What is performative eating?

Performative eating refers to how we choose or avoid certain foods based not on taste or nutrition, but on what we think it signals to others. Food can be a powerful tool to signal identity and build connection.

People might consume certain foods to send a message about their

• health – such as by opting for a salad to appear “disciplined”

• gender – such as ordering a steak or beer to look “masculine”, or avoiding a “feminine” dessert or cocktail

• morals – such as by eating plant-based, to emphasise environmental values

• aesthetic – such as when people curate meals so they will look beautiful on social media feeds.

The way we eat is often shaped by social influences. We are aware of some of these influences, such as when we choose certain foods to fit in with family or friends. Others happen without us even noticing.

The role of social media

Food has been performative for hundreds of years (maybe more) – especially considering the luxurious and decorative eating habits of royal families.

Social media magnifies the dynamics of performative eating. Platforms such as Instagram and TikTok are inundated with food content, from aesthetic smoothie bowls, and matcha creations, to viral “what I eat in a day” videos.

These posts don’t just entertain – they influence.

Viewers may copy the meals, lifestyles, or even the values of creators they admire. As such, social media doesn’t just reflect eating trends. It also helps create and reinforce them.

The psychology and sociology of food

As social beings, our eating habits are deeply influenced by social modelling, wherein we tend to mirror what and how much others eat – especially when we like them or feel similar to them.

Research has found that knowing what foods or drinks others have chosen can influence us to make similar choices. Research also suggests people typically eat more when dining with friends or family, compared to when they eat alone. This suggests familiarity and social connection play a role in how much we eat.

Our food choices are also shaped by broader cultural beliefs, or what society says is “good” or “bad”. Online trends such as “trad wives” baking sourdough, detox regimens, and strict diets such as raw foodism can represent ideals of “purity” or discipline, or a desire to belong to a a particular community.

The reverse of this is also visible in popular culture, where indulgence is celebrated. Take mukbangs – videos where people eat large amounts of (often unhealthy) food while chatting with viewers. Originating in South Korea, mukbang videos have become a global trend, with some videos getting more than 30 million views.

Research shows mukbang videos can shape viewers’ eating habits. A recent review of the evidence suggests that for some they are helpful as they can encourage regular eating, and reduce binge eating or loneliness. But for others, they can trigger restrictive eating habits, or relapses into what is called “loss-of-control eating”.

When does it become a problem?

Performative eating sits on a spectrum. Sometimes it’s positive to share in certain foods, such as to connect with friends or family, or to celebrate your culture.

But it crosses the line when most of the focus is on appearing a certain way to others. This influence is particularly strong among adolescents and young adults. People in these age groups are often still figuring out who they are and where they belong, so fitting in can feel very important.

There are a range of potential downsides to performative eating. In more extreme cases, it might lead to disordered eating and body image concerns. For example, striving to present a “perfect”, socially approved diet can spiral into rigid rules or restriction that undermine one’s mental and physical health.

Performative eating may lead to reduced food enjoyment, as meals become more about spectacle rather than moments of nourishment or pleasure.

It can also lead to food shortages or strain on food supply, as we’ve seen in past matcha shortages.

Reconnecting with food

Performative eating isn’t always harmful. But if you think it could be affecting your physical or mental health in any way, you can ask yourself these questions:

• am I consuming this food or drink because I enjoy it, or because I will be viewed a certain way for it?

• do I order what I actually want to eat, or what I think I should be ordering?

• what emotions do I feel before and after engaging with various food content online?

Parents and caregivers can help children build lifelong positive relationships with food by modelling healthy eating, avoiding food restrictions, and encouraging autonomy in childrens’ food choices.