These 7 factors increase the risk someone will become violent towards their partner

We’re beginning to build a better picture of just how many people are affected by intimate partner violence – a crisis that disproportionately impacts women and girls.

Around one in six Australian women and one in 18 men report they have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner at some point since age 15. About one in four women and one in seven men have experienced emotional abuse by a partner since age 15.

But what do we know about the perpetrators?

Two major studies recently found people with an insecure attachment – meaning they’re less likely to trust others and often have difficulties with intimacy – are at higher risk of perpetrating intimate partner violence than others.

But not everyone with insecure attachment will perpetrate this kind of violence. So, we suspected there must be additional risk factors.

In our recently published research, we analysed the findings of 46 other studies on the topic, to see who had a greater risk of perpetrating violence against a partner. Our study identified seven risk factors – and two were more important than the others.

Let’s take a look.

First, what is insecure attachment?

Several social factors contribute to intimate partner violence, including high rates of unemployment and poverty, living in regional and remote areas, and weak social policies and law.

But the perpetrator’s individual psychology also plays a role.

According to attachment theory, the emotional bonds we form early in life affect our behaviour within romantic relationships as adults.

As young children, if we experience our parents as consistently there for us when we are upset, we learn that other people we’re close to will be there for us too. In this case, we become securely attached.

However, if we experience our parents as unavailable, unresponsive, dismissive or neglectful, we learn we cannot count on people we’re close to for support. In that case, we become insecurely attached.

Insecurely attached individuals tend to show two main patterns in relationships – anxiety and/or avoidance.

Anxiously attached individuals may constantly worry their partner will leave them. Avoidantly attached individuals often remain cold and aloof with partners, because they’re uncomfortable with intimacy.

Importantly, your attachment style isn’t your destiny. But it can be a starting point to understand how you relate to others.

While an estimated one in two of us is insecurely attached, not everyone with this attachment style will go on to perpetrate intimate partner violence.

Still, there is a link between insecure attachment and intimate partner violence – and we wanted to know why.

We found 7 risk factors

Our study analysed the findings of 46 international and Australian studies about insecure attachment and intimate partner violence. In these, we identified seven factors that increase insecurely attached people’s risk for perpetrating intimate partner violence.

These included:

• experiencing negative emotions towards a partner (jealousy, anger and distrust)
• emotion dysregulation (having low ability to manage emotions)
• destructive communication styles (for example, refusing to talk to a partner)
• maladaptive personality traits, such as narcissism
• maladaptive beliefs about relationships (such as expecting your partner can read your mind).

But two other factors had the largest effect. Intimate partner violence was most likely when insecurely attached people experienced relationship dissatisfaction and/or a desire for dominance over their partner.

The desire to dominate a partner is more common among those who were anxiously attached (who are usually concerned with keeping their partner close).

Relationship dissatisfaction is more common among people who are avoidantly attached (who are uncomfortable with intimacy).

So, does this change how we tackle violence?

Our findings suggest understanding two risk factors for insecurely attached people in particular – relationship dissatisfaction and the desire for dominance – should be a part of therapies for intimate partner violence perpetrators.

Many of the current interventions for intimate partner violence have been shown to be ineffective or only slightly effective in reducing perpetration.

Most address the risk factors – for example, a desire for dominance – without considering a person’s attachment style.

One treatment that does address attachment is emotionally-focused therapy. This therapy helps partners understand each other’s unexpressed attachment needs and fosters more security in the relationship. But the focus is emotion dysregulation and destructive communication patterns, which our study found were less important risk factors.

Our results suggest interventions that address insecure attachment along with associated risk factors could be more effective at reducing violence. For example, interventions could help insecurely attached people understand why they experience a desire for dominance or relationship dissatisfaction, and how it is linked to their early experiences of caregivers.

We also need more research and long-term studies to confirm the strength of the links we found. The more we understand perpetrators’ risk factors, the better we can tackle the epidemic of intimate partner violence in Australia.

For information and advice about family and intimate partner violence contact1800 RESPECT(1800 737 732). If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact 000.Men’s Referral Service(call 1300 766 491) offers advice and counselling to men looking to change their behaviour.