Why dating your therapist is never OK

In the Netflix show Nobody Wants This Morgan begins a relationship with her therapist Dr Andy.

Morgan’s sister Joanne and the rest of Morgan’s family are concerned about the relationship. But the TV show does not appropriately grapple with the severity of Dr Andy’s actions.

Dr Andy is not reported to the regulator, nor does a senior psychologist counsel him such a relationship is inappropriate and unethical.

The show raises an important issue about psychologists dating their clients. And Australian psychologists are now receiving fresh advice on what is and is not appropriate.

In particular, a new code of conduct to be implemented from today provides updated guidance that it’s almost never OK for a psychologist to date someone who’s been a client, even if that was years ago.

Here’s what the changes mean for clients and psychologists in Australia.

Why is dating your psychologist a problem?

The main reason prohibiting psychologists from dating their clients is the inherent power imbalance.

First, there is the nature of knowledge and status. Someone seeks a psychologist’s services due to their clinical experience and expertise. This specialised knowledge can place them in a position of greater authority.

Clients also tend to share very personal and emotionally charged personal information. But psychologists disclose relatively little personal information. This disparity can further make clients particularly vulnerable.

Maintaining appropriate boundaries between psychologist and client is particularly important. These boundaries provide clear expectations and a greater sense of safety in the therapeutic relationship. These boundaries aim to protect the client, who is in the more vulnerable position.

Even if a client is attracted to their therapist, which studies show can be common, the same principles apply.

A psychologist engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship with their client, such as Dr Andy and Morgan, represents a clear and significant violation of these boundaries, and an exploitation of power.

The power differential between Morgan and Dr Andy is clear.

First, Morgan refers to him not by his first name but as Dr Andy, signalling his position of hierarchy, and status.

Morgan says Dr Andy knows “all of my trauma and all of my baggage” and accepts her nonetheless. But Morgan has very limited information about Dr Andy and his background.

Dr Andy also brings up Morgan’s difficult childhood experiences to speed up how their romantic relationship progresses.

What the new code of conduct says

Australian psychologists’ new code of conduct makes it clear psychologists should “never establish or pursue a sexual […] relationship with a client”.

This recognises relationships with current clients are always unethical, consistent with the previous code of ethics and international guidelines.

However, the new code of conduct has changed regarding relationships with former clients.

The old code said psychologists should not engage in sexual activity with a former client within two years of the professional relationship ending. After two years, psychologists needed to consult a senior psychologist about the potential relationship to consider the vulnerability and risk of exploitation to the previous client.

In the new code, this two-year prohibition is removed.

The new code states sexual and intimate relationships with former clients are “mostly inappropriate” and should be avoided until a senior psychologist has been consulted.

This change was introduced because power imbalances can persist beyond two years of a professional relationship ending. However, the absolute protection provided by the previous two-year rule has now been removed. There is now more ambiguity about which relationships would be considered unethical.

Under the new (and previous codes), Dr Andy’s behaviour clearly represents a violation of his ethical responsibilities. He and Morgan discontinued their therapeutic relationship the week before meeting her family. However, there appears to be no consideration of Morgan’s vulnerability or the inappropriateness of their romantic relationship.

Indeed, we find out Dr Andy had dated another of his former clients. If Dr Andy had consulted another psychologist, it would quickly be evident his behaviour was inappropriate and unethical.

Why is this important?

Knowing about these expected standards can better equip people to spot potential exploitative behaviours.

So, if like Joanne, you find a family member or friend entering a relationship with another Dr Andy you’ll know this isn’t OK.

Serious concerns, such as this form of unethical behaviour, can be raised with the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (Ahpra). The agency has supports and processes for reporting health practitioner sexual misconduct.

If you’re a psychologist, it’s a reminder that sexual and intimate relationships with your clients are not OK. And if you are thinking of entering a relationship with a former client, it’s crucial you raise this with your supervisor first.