How common is sexually abusive behaviour between children? How should daycare centres respond?

Parents have spoken about harrowing cases of their young children being abused by other children in daycare centres, as part of an ABC investigation into the New South Wales sector.

How common is sexually abusive behaviour between children?

Why does it happen? And what can daycare centres do about it?

Read more: 7 ways to teach little kids about body safety before they can talk

What does the data say?

There is no national data to track these incidents in childcare centres.

The national childcare regulator reports on the number of “serious incidents”. But there is a lack of detail around what these involve and they don’t even necessarily include child abuse.

States and territories also report on “reportable conduct allegations” (claims of abuse of children) in early childhood. But there are inconsistent standards, expectations and enforcement mechanisms across jurisdictions.

The best data we have about all forms of child sexual abuse is from the 2023 Australian Child Maltreatment Study. As part of the study, a nationally representative sample 8,503 Australians aged 16 and older were asked about their experiences of child maltreatment, including child sexual abuse.

Overall, 28.5% of the group reported they had experienced child sexual abuse. The interviewer then asked who did this to them. As a proportion of the population, here’s what they said about abuse from other young people:

• 10% of Australians reported child sexual abuse from other known children or adolescents (not romantic partners)

• 2.5% reported sexual abuse from adolescent romantic partners

• 1.4% reported sexual abuse from an unknown adolescent

• 1.6% reported sexual abuse from a sibling.

As the study relied on adults recalling childhood experiences, it may mean it’s an under-representation of cases, particularly very early in childhood.

We need a lot more data about what’s going in the early years.

Is the problem getting worse?

Nevertheless, the Australian Child Maltreatment Study study suggests sexual abuse between peers is becoming more common.

Those aged 16-24 were more likely to have been sexually abused by a peer (18.2%) than by an adult (11.7%). Older age groups were more likely to have been abused by adults. For example, of those aged 25-44, 14.1% reported having experienced child sexual abuse by another young person, compared to 17.9% by an adult.

This pattern suggests we have made some progress in reducing the rates of adult perpetrated child sexual abuse, but sexual abuse between peers is increasing.

Read more: New research shows some gains but fresh difficulties in combating child sexual abuse

Why is this happening?

We can understand this at both an individual and situational level.

If a child is engaging in harmful or abusive sexual behaviours, this may be because they have been exposed to sexual abuse, violence in the home, pornography, or other trauma. They may be reenacting or processing something they have seen or experienced.

But there are also situational factors that enable this behaviour, such as a lack of supervision. We know this is an issue in childcare centres if there are low staff numbers, educators are overworked or there is a lack of adequate training.

How can centres respond?

Research tells us we need to create safe environments for little (and bigger) kids. On top of adequate supervision, this means:

• everyone, from kids to educators and parents, understands body safety (what is appropriate touching? What are healthy boundaries?)

• everyone is able to recognise if something is not right

• everyone feels safe to talk to someone if they need to

• trusted adults take incidents or concerns seriously.

This then means, even if a child is at risk of harming a peer or inappropriate touching – there is little chance they will have the opportunity to do so. And there is a culture to support healthy interactions between kids.

It should not matter who is in the room or the playground, every child deserves to feel and be safe.

Read more: With a new minister for early childhood education, what can the federal government do to make centres safer?

How should childcare centres talk about bodies?

Children are naturally interested in their bodies and other people’s bodies. This is part of growing up and learning about their world.

If curious children do something inappropriate, good quality childcare centres will deal with these episodes calmly, as they arise. For example, a child might say:

I felt yuck because Sam asked me to pull down my pants.

Educators should respond in a kind, empathetic way and not shame anyone involved.

They can use the situation to explain we don’t ask our friends to do this. And just because someone asks us to do something to or with our bodies, it does not mean we have to say yes. We often think of consent education being the job of high schools, but this education needs to start much earlier.

Educators can also model this. For example, with little children, they should let them know they will be changing their nappy. For example,

You need a nappy change because you’ve done a wee. Do you want Alex or Kim to do it?

This teaches children a safe adult only touches your genitals for the purposes of care or hygiene, and always with communication and respect.

These micro-level practices build up over time. Ideally, they can also help show parents what is healthy and safe behaviour.

We should not demonise little kids

Lastly, we should not demonise children who engage in harmful sexual behaviour. Most children do not go on to offend later in life.

What they need is support, guidance and supervision, not stigma or exclusion. While schools or childcare centres sometimes isolate children who have harmed others, exclusion rarely addresses the root cause and can make the problem worse.

Instead, we need to create opportunities for positive, healthy relationships and help children experience safe and appropriate forms of touch. For example, high-fives, hand-holding and hugs within clear boundaries and supportive adult supervision.

Abusive behaviours between children are deeply distressing, but are also preventable. By ensuring strong supervision, body safety education from early years, and responding to children with empathy rather than fear, we can protect kids.