How to recognise child-on-child sexual abuse – and how to respond appropriately

Allegations of sexual abuse by early childhood educators have rocked Australia in recent months.

Now, the ABC’s investigation into the childcare sector has revealed hundreds more cases – this time committed by children against other children.

But some distressed parents have told the ABC their concerns were not taken seriously by the centre or police because it happened between children.

So, when is sexual behaviour from children normal and when is it abusive? And how can we intervene to make sure it doesn’t keep happening?

What is child-on-child sexual abuse?

These kinds of incidents can be difficult to pin down – and even to describe.

Practitioners and researchers often use the term “harmful sexual behaviour” to acknowledge abusive behaviour can be driven by childhood trauma, and to avoiding stigmatising children who sexually harm.

But research I have done with colleagues interviewing victim-survivors shows they often prefer the term “child-on-child sexual abuse”. It also seems to be the term people are using to seek help and information on platforms such as Reddit and among some survivor advocates.

So, what is it?

Children’s sexual behaviour is typically understood on a continuum, from “normal” to “problematic” through to “harmful”.

At pre-school age:

• normal sexual behaviour might involve playing “mummies and daddies” or using “rude” words to be funny

• problematic sexual behaviour might mean children trying to expose their own genitals or those of other children, or trying to engage siblings or others in masturbation (touching themselves or each other).

• harmful sexual behaviour can involve forcing other children into penetrative acts, such as oral sex, or coercing other children into sexual “play”.

Read more: 7 ways to teach little kids about body safety before they can talk

Victim-survivors of this kind of abuse may feel confused about their experiences, even as adults, because they were made to feel complicit or the abuse was not taken seriously. Adults may dismiss the behaviour as kids’ normal exploration or experimentation.

But child-on-child sexual abuse is not normal. The impacts on victim-survivors are profoundly negative and lifelong, comparable to adult-perpetrated sexual abuse.

What we know – and don’t know – about why it happens

We actually know very little about very young children in Australia who develop problematic sexual behaviours.

But the evidence we do have shows early childhood educators often receive training about mandatory reporting of child abuse, but no specific training about how to identify and intervene when child-on-child sexual abuse occurs.

One 2002 study from the United States looked at 37 preschool aged children with problematic sexual behaviours. It found more were female (65%) than male (35%), contrary to studies in school aged children. And while we know harmful sexual behaviour can stem from abuse, many (62%) did not have histories of sexual abuse.

However, the majority had been exposed to other forms of sexual activity: 35% had seen sexually explicit imagery and 27% had witnessed their parents have sex.

What should intervention involve?

Some evidence suggests most children who display harmful sexual behaviour do not go on to perpetrate abuse as adults.

This is true when children receive therapeutic intervention by a specialist practitioner who works with harmful sexual behaviour in children, such as a social worker, counsellor or psychologist.

They work with children and young people and their families, to develop safety plans and help them understand how and why the abusive behaviour developed, and what can be done to prevent abuse in the future.

But there is a gap in our understanding of how best to identify and most effectively address this growing issue. A new national framework for approaches to children with harmful sexual behaviours will help guide clinical practice when the National Office for Child Safety releases it. We don’t yet know when this will be.

Colleagues and I have also helped develop a program to address child-on-child sexual abuse, called “Power to Kids in Schools”. The program trains educators how to have “brave conversations” about healthy relationships, exploitation and sexual safety.

It also helps them identify problematic and harmful sexual behaviours and intervene appropriately. For example, an educator may notice behaviour changes and ask directly if the child is experiencing abuse or exploitation from another child.

This kind of program could be adapted to use in childcare centres, and help fill the gap so educators understand better how to actively intervene.

We are also developing a website and helpline called “What’s OK?” Australia, based on successful models in the United Kingdom and United States. School aged children and young people will be able to access anonymous help if they are worried about their sexual thoughts and behaviours.

What you can do

Attention this week has been on sexual abuse in childcare centres. But child-on-child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, to any child. There are particularly alarming forms of child-on-child sexual abuse emerging that are sadistic, often perpetrated by groups of teen boys and young men.

At early ages, one of the most protective things we can do is teach kids about body safety – and we can do this at any age, even before they can talk.

But it is equally important to target contextual factors, such as children’s access to sexually explicit material and platforms that facilitate sexual abuse.

As safe adults, it is also our responsibility to learn about this form of abuse and to stay vigilant.

If a child discloses sexual abuse by another child, do not dismiss it. Believe them, and act to make it stop.

If this story has raised any issues for you, please contact one of the services below:

• Lifeline, 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention: 13 11 14
• Bravehearts, counselling and support for survivors of child sexual abuse: 1800 272 831
• Kids Helpline (ages 5–25 and parents): 1800 55 1800